Moving on....

16th Feb 2008…Evening 4.30…I open the envelope in my hand…and typed are the words I wanted to see…IBS HYDERABAD. Yes I had got selected I and had to join the institute in a couple of months time.

I gulped down a concoction of emotions in the next few days…happiness, excitement, satisfaction, fear,uncertainity,sadness…all of it was a part of me. On the one hand I was going to chase the dream I had cherished for years, take charge of my life in a new city but on the other hand this meant leaving my safe abode, leaving my family.

I tried to make each and every moment of those few days in Lucknow special. I wanted to absorb each and every conversation, each and every piece of advice, each and every smile, each and every blessing and each and every tear. It was a strange phase of life. The ocean of opportunities was in front of me and I wanted to spread my wings and ride the waves but there were moments when I suddenly seem to have developed agoraphobia.

28^th April 2008…Early morning 6 o clock…The day had finally come. My bags were packed and I was ready to go. I braced myself, made a promise that I will turn the tides in my favor and will make the most of the times ahead. A true Cancerian that I am, it doesn’t take time for tears to dwell in my eyes, but strangely on the railway station I had put an unusually strong façade while bidding goodbyes to my family and friends. But it just took a minute to shatter this strong mould. A warm hug to my lil sister and she burst into tears saying I’ll miss you….never in my life had I seen her cry like that..(not even at times when the poor thing got beaten up by me when we fought). The goodbye was difficult….more than what I had expected it to be. The burgeoning up of the emotions desperately needed a vent and as usual I had my face under the blanket and cried my heart out in the train.

30^th April 2008…Morning 9 o clock…Like they show in movies..I put my first step in the premises of the college and sudden chill ran through me. So this was it….my home away from home. After completing all the formalities and setting up my new room in the hostel when it was time for my dad to leave; that is when the sudden realization dawned that I was all by myself now. The glint of tears in his eyes melted my heart but also filled me with a new zest for achievement; I just couldn’t let them down.

100 acres of land…a sprawling campus…900 new faces…all chasing their dreams and trying to hold on to themselves in this new place.

First few nights in that new place were scary and I practically cried myself to sleep each night. But then things began to settle down. The uncertainty was replaced with a sense of direction; the void was filled with the laughter of friends I had made. I was slowly taking charge of my own life, taking decisions on my own-sometimes right and sometimes wrong and had started living life. There were times when I felt like giving up,there were times when I desperately needed a hug and a pillow was the only thing I had, there were times when I felt that life is unfair but isn't life a bouquet of these times?

Present day…Morning 10.30…it’s been over 2 and half years I am out of home. I have finished my MBA and m happily working for more than 6 months now and the only thing I can say is that life is good.

I still have days when my heart cries out, days when I feel terribly homesick, days when I need my mommy’s lap to put my head on, days when I want to pillow fight with my sister. All said and done I know that I have taken charge of my life, have matured enough to take decisions and to fight the odds. I am finally out of the shell and ready to face the odds.

What keeps me going? The strength and support that I get from my family and friends. If it was not for them, I wouldn’t have been able to tide through this.

In the end as filmy as it may sound…I am adding life to days and not days to life….Cheers to life…J